Ready Or Not

It is currently Monday morning, 4am, and here I sit in my Maternity ward bed awaiting for my vitals to be taken. I have been in this bed since Friday around 1pm when once again my blood pressure went nuts at my doctors appointment and they sent me over to the hospital to be observed. Once admitted to the hospital on Friday I was given some tests, blood and urine, and slowly over the past three days my body has begun to fail them, one by one, to the point where it is now apparent that Katie will be born sometime this week.

So, ready or not, she is on her way.

I am currently 33 weeks and 1 day pregnant, so she will be a preemie, small but developed enough that we are pretty confident that she will not need to be on a respirator. Nat and I are of course worried and nervous but we know that we are in the best place for both Katie and I to succeed and not only are we well taken care of but since I have spent the past 33 weeks living with my doctors so I am very, very secure in the fact that they are making the best choices for our continued success.

There is no definite timeline for this birth, no doctor has given us a day or time, my body will be the final judge. Everything depends on how well I continue to progress downward with my labs. The last doctor we spoke with was guestimating earlier this week than later, which prompted Nat and I to ask to visit the NICU here at the hospital, so we were given a short but mentally calming visit of where Katie will live for the first few weeks of her life. It was an eye opening experience to see such tiny babies, but again we were comforted in the fact that Katie will be very closely monitored and that even at 33 weeks she will be big enough to be out of the real danger zone that many preemies face.

Are we going crazy, absolutely. There are a million things running through my mind at every second, this is why I am awake at 4am and this is why my stomach is currently in knots. I guess I am mostly worried about the unknown factors, I haven't been in control of this pregnancy from day 1 and now it seems as though even my last moments of this pregnancy are out of my hands. I wish someone would just say, "Wednesday at 4pm we are going to induce you." A plan, that would be nice. But I guess planning and I aren't friends right now so I just have to sit in my hospital bed and wait.

Nat and I would just like to thank everybody who reads this for your continued thoughts and prayers, they have meant so much to us in the past and right now we need them more than ever. This is going to be the most incredible week of our lives and no doubt the most panicked and stress filled as well so please keep us close to your hearts.

Hopefully the next time you get a post from me we will have a happy, healthy, little girl to show off. Like I said she will be tiny, around 4 1/2 lbs., but I have been given steroids to pump up her lungs and even being born too soon she should be in good shape. With love from Room 413 at the York Hospital, Suzi