Merry Christmas Everybody!!!
So much has gone on since my last posting I don't know where to begin. I guess I'll start with our follow up appointment with Dr. Filer, that was last Monday. As usual he couldn't tell us that anything went wrong, in fact once again he said that it was a perfect cycle; for some reason my embroys just won't latch on. Nat and I then explained to him that we were going to quit for a while and he said that physically and emotionally that was a good idea. After all nerve damage wasn't what I wanted after this whole process.
I also talked to Dr. Filer about some research I had been doing online about Metabolic Syndrome. I have picked up self diagnosing myself from my mother-in-law and this time, unlike most, I hit the nail right on the head. Basically some women with PCOS develop an insulin resistance that along with lowering your metabolism increases your risk of heart attack, stroke and diabetics. I seemed to fit the symptoms and when my blood work came back with raised insulin levels it was confirmed. I am now on a medicine called Glucophage that should help my body regulate it self.
29 years old and I'm falling apart!
I guess I should say we are falling apart, Nat and I. Soon after the meeting with Dr. Filer Nat started getting sick, or I should say sicker. I won't go in to details but I will say it ended up with Nat being home from work for two days and it was capped of by an "emergency" colonoscopy on Friday. He is mostly well, we are awaiting some test results but the scary things like cancer have been ruled out.
Well that's been the excitement around here; add a little snow and some Christmas decorating you have the rest of our days.
On a brighter note Nat and I have decided that we are going to pursue adoption, specifically from China. We are so excited! There are a ton of agencies that handle adoptions from China so right now we are weeding through all of the brochures to try to find one that best suits our desires. So far there are two standouts, Adoptions From The Heart and Great Wall. There is a ton of information on both of their websites if you want to take a look, I don't want to bore you with all of the stuff I have been learning. The government of China does require that both parents be 30 years old to adopt so Nat and I will have to wait until June to submit any paper work, but in the meantime we have scheduled two meetings to find out how much we can do in the interim.
So it looks like we are undertaking yet another lengthy task, but one that will be completely worthwhile. The two meeting are in January so I might not have anything new until then, but if I do I will keep you all posted.
Again I would like to thank you all for every thought, prayer and email that you have sent me and Nat this year. It has been a rollercoaster ride that I am definitely glad to bring to an end. Keep your fingers and toes crossed that 06' will be our year! (finally!)
I wish you all a very heartfelt Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, especially to our 1st timers Ben, Emma, and Makenzie. Enjoy!!!
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Monday, November 28, 2005
Boo Part Two
Well here we are once again; another failed attempt at this IVF/FET thing. I had the blood test done this morning and this time I was feeling pretty good about the outcome. I don't know what in particular made me feel so positive but I really thought this was the month, Nat and I both did. The negative result threw us both for a loop.
We are doing well now; Mexican food and beer helps. Over chips, salsa and some Dos Equis we decided that we are going to take a little break from all of the drugs and heartache. To us it seems as though our past year has been all about having a baby and since we have had to deal with a bunch of negative results we are at a bit of a breaking point. We aren't giving up forever, just taking a much needed break. Part of our break will be looking in to international adoption, China in particular. We are both looking forward to learning about the program and about the possiblity of bringing home a little girl of our own.
We are bummed about todays results, don't get me wrong, but we aren't giving up just yet. I know no matter what happens my friends and family will be there to support us in our decisions and that keeps me staying positive.
I'll continue to update my blog, but it might be a bit more random as events unfold. Thanks again for all of your thoughts, prayers and support. I promise you that it has helped more than you could ever know.
We are doing well now; Mexican food and beer helps. Over chips, salsa and some Dos Equis we decided that we are going to take a little break from all of the drugs and heartache. To us it seems as though our past year has been all about having a baby and since we have had to deal with a bunch of negative results we are at a bit of a breaking point. We aren't giving up forever, just taking a much needed break. Part of our break will be looking in to international adoption, China in particular. We are both looking forward to learning about the program and about the possiblity of bringing home a little girl of our own.
We are bummed about todays results, don't get me wrong, but we aren't giving up just yet. I know no matter what happens my friends and family will be there to support us in our decisions and that keeps me staying positive.
I'll continue to update my blog, but it might be a bit more random as events unfold. Thanks again for all of your thoughts, prayers and support. I promise you that it has helped more than you could ever know.
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
What I'm Thankful For
This Thanksgiving season I have many things to be thankful for; I have a husband who loves me, a great family, a super awesome fat cat, a nice home and wonderful friends. Yet yesterday my previous reasons to give thanks were all blown away by one simple thing;
NO MORE PROGESTERONE SHOTS!!!!!!! (Woo-hoo, yippie, halleujah!!)
Here is the lead up story to yesterday:
Nat had been giving me the progesterone shots for just over a week, 16 injections to be specific, and all on my left side because my fertility doctor was concerned that I had some residual numbness on my right side from the previous months injections. I had been waiting since injection one to see the neurologist to get cleared for shots to resume on the right, but when I made the appointment Monday the 21st was all they had, I would have to suck it up and wait through 8 days of shots.
After day 3 my sucking up had been sucked out.
When I say that I was in pain from all these shots hitting one muscle, twice daily, I would be underselling it. My flanks were swollen, discolored, and the muscle was in constant flex. I was walking with a limp, waking myself up in the middle of the night from rolling over, and every new injection would almost bring Nat and I to tears. The best analogy I could come up with was that it felt like stitches that kept tearing open, if you have ever had surgery you know that tugging feeling. I was basically in constant pain with only Tylenol, ice packs and a heating pad at my disposal. Ugh.
By yesterday morning I was ready for that neurology appointment. I knew, just knew, that the doctor would check out my thigh, say it was normal and let Nat resume shooting me in righty. I went to my appointment in the pouring rain and waited patiently for the doctor to clear me and send me on my way.
Not to be. (Of course by now you should know that!)
Now you would think that at this stage of the game I would be prepared for anything; I mean this whole infertility thing hasn't exactly gone swimmingly for me. When I met Dr. May, the neurologist, he began asking me what was going on and I filled him in on the thigh numbness and the tenderness that I still had on my right side. He asked if I was having numbness this time on my left side and of course I was, I had it on both sides last time as well. What's the big deal?
I guess the numbness is always a big deal, he said I should have seen him the first time I had any numbness, it's not normal; You know that does make sense. He made me lie down on the doctor table and proceeded to poke me with a toothpick, and put hot and cold items on the affected areas of my thighs.
Couldn't feel a damn thing.
All this led him to the conclusion that I had actually damaged my nerves. He explained that nerves take a long time to recover so we won't know if it's permanent or for at least 6 months. Can you believe this? By now you are all saying, duh, yes Suzi, you are a walking time bomb. He recommended no more injections and with that no more sore butt, no more leaning and hobbling. YAY!! Is it weird to be a little happy you have nerve damage to get out of something? I'm still taking progesterone in another form, think injection without needles, so my body should stay happy.
So yes I have nerve damage, but since it might not be permanent (fingers crossed) I am going to look at this with positivity. Another crisis somewhat avoided.
Well Happy Thanksgiving everyone!! I hope you all spend the day with people you love and give thanks for those who love you. Talk to you soon!!!
NO MORE PROGESTERONE SHOTS!!!!!!! (Woo-hoo, yippie, halleujah!!)
Here is the lead up story to yesterday:
Nat had been giving me the progesterone shots for just over a week, 16 injections to be specific, and all on my left side because my fertility doctor was concerned that I had some residual numbness on my right side from the previous months injections. I had been waiting since injection one to see the neurologist to get cleared for shots to resume on the right, but when I made the appointment Monday the 21st was all they had, I would have to suck it up and wait through 8 days of shots.
After day 3 my sucking up had been sucked out.
When I say that I was in pain from all these shots hitting one muscle, twice daily, I would be underselling it. My flanks were swollen, discolored, and the muscle was in constant flex. I was walking with a limp, waking myself up in the middle of the night from rolling over, and every new injection would almost bring Nat and I to tears. The best analogy I could come up with was that it felt like stitches that kept tearing open, if you have ever had surgery you know that tugging feeling. I was basically in constant pain with only Tylenol, ice packs and a heating pad at my disposal. Ugh.
By yesterday morning I was ready for that neurology appointment. I knew, just knew, that the doctor would check out my thigh, say it was normal and let Nat resume shooting me in righty. I went to my appointment in the pouring rain and waited patiently for the doctor to clear me and send me on my way.
Not to be. (Of course by now you should know that!)
Now you would think that at this stage of the game I would be prepared for anything; I mean this whole infertility thing hasn't exactly gone swimmingly for me. When I met Dr. May, the neurologist, he began asking me what was going on and I filled him in on the thigh numbness and the tenderness that I still had on my right side. He asked if I was having numbness this time on my left side and of course I was, I had it on both sides last time as well. What's the big deal?
I guess the numbness is always a big deal, he said I should have seen him the first time I had any numbness, it's not normal; You know that does make sense. He made me lie down on the doctor table and proceeded to poke me with a toothpick, and put hot and cold items on the affected areas of my thighs.
Couldn't feel a damn thing.
All this led him to the conclusion that I had actually damaged my nerves. He explained that nerves take a long time to recover so we won't know if it's permanent or for at least 6 months. Can you believe this? By now you are all saying, duh, yes Suzi, you are a walking time bomb. He recommended no more injections and with that no more sore butt, no more leaning and hobbling. YAY!! Is it weird to be a little happy you have nerve damage to get out of something? I'm still taking progesterone in another form, think injection without needles, so my body should stay happy.
So yes I have nerve damage, but since it might not be permanent (fingers crossed) I am going to look at this with positivity. Another crisis somewhat avoided.
Well Happy Thanksgiving everyone!! I hope you all spend the day with people you love and give thanks for those who love you. Talk to you soon!!!
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Fingers and Toes Are Crossed!
Good evening all, hummmm I guess it will be morning when you read this, so good morning! It is 11:30pm and I am wide awake, in bed, with nothing but the TV and laptop; I am already sick of the TV so I thought I would let you all know how the day went.
I'll begin by letting you that I thought I wasn't nervous this time around but at 3:30am last night I was wide awake, watching Cops, and trying to lure myself to sleep. I guess on some level it worked because the next time I looked at the clock it was 8am; TRANSFER DAY!!! Yippie!! I started my day with my usual shot of progesterone, a few assorted pills and a hot shower. Nothing out of the ordinary.
On advise from Amy Mishler, Nat and I took a different route to the doctors office this morning, maybe a change of perspective will shed new light on the outcome. We arrived early and to be honest I was a little relieved because I hadn't been drinking the amount of water that I should have been, you know trying to cheat the system. I changed in to that horrible hospital gown that never seems big enough to cover your butt and began taking sips of water when none of the nurses were around, I didn't want them to catch me breaking the rules.
They were running a little late this morning and I wasn't taken into the transfer room until about 11:15am. The first thing they do when you get in the room is lay you down on the table and do an ultrasound to check the fullness of your bladder and guess what?? All of my cheating finally caught up to me, boo. The ultrasound lady, Lisa, looked at me and shook her head; I knew that look. My bladder, and to a larger extent I, had failed the test. For the next 45 minutes I was slamming water down my throat in 8oz. portions, stupid small Styrofoam cups, and after no doubt making everyone in there want to kill me for ruining their lunch break, the transfer was back on.
I was given a shot of Versed, a muscle relaxer, and three embryos were transferred in to me with little discomfort. Once again when they had finished the transfer they tilted the table back and hung me upside down, not really but it felt like it, for 30 minutes. Last time we did this Nat and I read the newspaper and chatted, took the 30 minutes to discuss current events and bond a bit. This time, I fell asleep. I didn't just doze off, I was snoring and dreaming and then next thing I remember is Sue the nurse coming up beside the table and saying "Did she fall asleep?". Yes I did. I couldn't believe how out of it I was, the last time I made it through the 30 minute wait, the car ride home and lunch before I crashed. This time I don't think I even spoke on the car ride home, went straight to bed and woke up around 5:15pm. How strange is that?!
Anyhow, my timing was awesome because about 30 minutes after arising from my drug induced coma my dad showed up with some homemade mac and cheese, which was deliciously cheesy! Five minutes after my dad arrived my father-in-law showed up with two subs and some beef stew, courtesy of my mother-in-law and 10 minutes after that my mom showed up to keep me company and chat. I won't have to cook at all this week, yay for me!
So that was my day. Besides getting busted for not drinking enough water and snoring for the lucky staff at the clinic everything went really, really well. Unfortunately the rest of my day, sleeping and eating, don't really fill the pages so I'm going to have to end this entry. Back to watching Court TV and playing Sudoku...........
I'll begin by letting you that I thought I wasn't nervous this time around but at 3:30am last night I was wide awake, watching Cops, and trying to lure myself to sleep. I guess on some level it worked because the next time I looked at the clock it was 8am; TRANSFER DAY!!! Yippie!! I started my day with my usual shot of progesterone, a few assorted pills and a hot shower. Nothing out of the ordinary.
On advise from Amy Mishler, Nat and I took a different route to the doctors office this morning, maybe a change of perspective will shed new light on the outcome. We arrived early and to be honest I was a little relieved because I hadn't been drinking the amount of water that I should have been, you know trying to cheat the system. I changed in to that horrible hospital gown that never seems big enough to cover your butt and began taking sips of water when none of the nurses were around, I didn't want them to catch me breaking the rules.
They were running a little late this morning and I wasn't taken into the transfer room until about 11:15am. The first thing they do when you get in the room is lay you down on the table and do an ultrasound to check the fullness of your bladder and guess what?? All of my cheating finally caught up to me, boo. The ultrasound lady, Lisa, looked at me and shook her head; I knew that look. My bladder, and to a larger extent I, had failed the test. For the next 45 minutes I was slamming water down my throat in 8oz. portions, stupid small Styrofoam cups, and after no doubt making everyone in there want to kill me for ruining their lunch break, the transfer was back on.
I was given a shot of Versed, a muscle relaxer, and three embryos were transferred in to me with little discomfort. Once again when they had finished the transfer they tilted the table back and hung me upside down, not really but it felt like it, for 30 minutes. Last time we did this Nat and I read the newspaper and chatted, took the 30 minutes to discuss current events and bond a bit. This time, I fell asleep. I didn't just doze off, I was snoring and dreaming and then next thing I remember is Sue the nurse coming up beside the table and saying "Did she fall asleep?". Yes I did. I couldn't believe how out of it I was, the last time I made it through the 30 minute wait, the car ride home and lunch before I crashed. This time I don't think I even spoke on the car ride home, went straight to bed and woke up around 5:15pm. How strange is that?!
Anyhow, my timing was awesome because about 30 minutes after arising from my drug induced coma my dad showed up with some homemade mac and cheese, which was deliciously cheesy! Five minutes after my dad arrived my father-in-law showed up with two subs and some beef stew, courtesy of my mother-in-law and 10 minutes after that my mom showed up to keep me company and chat. I won't have to cook at all this week, yay for me!
So that was my day. Besides getting busted for not drinking enough water and snoring for the lucky staff at the clinic everything went really, really well. Unfortunately the rest of my day, sleeping and eating, don't really fill the pages so I'm going to have to end this entry. Back to watching Court TV and playing Sudoku...........
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Finally
Tomorrow is the big day!
Dr. Michelle called a little bit ago to inform me that go time is tomorrow at 11am. I will once again have to go through the water torture ritual to make sure my bladder is nice and full and have to lie on the table thinking only about the sweet, sweet relief of the catheter. Pathetic huh?
For the FET cycle the doctors have to unfreeze some the remaining embroys that were frozen from the last "fresh" cycle. We chose to have three embroys inserted again and luckily all three embryos that were thawed for the procedure made it out A-Ok so we won't have to use any of the remaining 4. This was actually amazing because Nat and I were told about half of the thawed guys don't make it, so once again we are thinking somebody up there might like us!
Well that is all for now. I will send out an update tomorrow after the procedure and the drug induced nap that follows. At 11am, 10am Central, and 9 am Mountain (don't think I have anyone Pacific) please send me some good vibes, I'll need them!
Dr. Michelle called a little bit ago to inform me that go time is tomorrow at 11am. I will once again have to go through the water torture ritual to make sure my bladder is nice and full and have to lie on the table thinking only about the sweet, sweet relief of the catheter. Pathetic huh?
For the FET cycle the doctors have to unfreeze some the remaining embroys that were frozen from the last "fresh" cycle. We chose to have three embroys inserted again and luckily all three embryos that were thawed for the procedure made it out A-Ok so we won't have to use any of the remaining 4. This was actually amazing because Nat and I were told about half of the thawed guys don't make it, so once again we are thinking somebody up there might like us!
Well that is all for now. I will send out an update tomorrow after the procedure and the drug induced nap that follows. At 11am, 10am Central, and 9 am Mountain (don't think I have anyone Pacific) please send me some good vibes, I'll need them!
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Go Time, Part Deux
It's almost transfer time!!
This morning was my last ultrasound before the transfer on the 16th. Since I wasn't growing any eggs this time around my body has gotten a huge break; in fact I almost feel normal, well Suzi normal, a little different?! I have only had to do bloodwork once and today was the third ultrasound, compare that with five of each last time. I'm still not sleeping on a regular basis and yes the moodiness is back with a vengeance, but I'm not in pain from 3 lb. Ovaries so I consider this a walk in the park, with a slight incline.
Right now you're probably thinking, "wow, I'm glad Suzi is having an easier time this month she deserves it because she is so awesome(hehe)". Well not so fast sisters and random brothers who actually read this; I haven't gotten to the drugs.
Aah, the drugs. Right now I am giving myself a shot of Lupron every day and taking Estrogen pills twice a day. The Lupron stops on Saturday, but the Estrogen continues until the 10th week of pregnancy. Sunday night Nat starts giving me the fun shots of progesterone, twice daily beginning Monday, the same day I also begin taking Medrol, a steroid, and Doxcycline, some kind of antibiotic, I think?
Now I want you all to think back to my last blog in which I told you about the continuing numbness on the outside of my right leg and how I have to go and see a neurologist? (If not please refer to the previous blog and try to keep up, this blog isn't for the slow or the weak at heart!) Well now that numbness comes in to play; my doctor just called and said that those progesterone shots that has Nat to give me can only go on my left side.
How freakin' awesome!
So twice a day for possibly 8 weeks I will be getting a shot, in the butt, from this needle.
This morning was my last ultrasound before the transfer on the 16th. Since I wasn't growing any eggs this time around my body has gotten a huge break; in fact I almost feel normal, well Suzi normal, a little different?! I have only had to do bloodwork once and today was the third ultrasound, compare that with five of each last time. I'm still not sleeping on a regular basis and yes the moodiness is back with a vengeance, but I'm not in pain from 3 lb. Ovaries so I consider this a walk in the park, with a slight incline.
Right now you're probably thinking, "wow, I'm glad Suzi is having an easier time this month she deserves it because she is so awesome(hehe)". Well not so fast sisters and random brothers who actually read this; I haven't gotten to the drugs.
Aah, the drugs. Right now I am giving myself a shot of Lupron every day and taking Estrogen pills twice a day. The Lupron stops on Saturday, but the Estrogen continues until the 10th week of pregnancy. Sunday night Nat starts giving me the fun shots of progesterone, twice daily beginning Monday, the same day I also begin taking Medrol, a steroid, and Doxcycline, some kind of antibiotic, I think?
Now I want you all to think back to my last blog in which I told you about the continuing numbness on the outside of my right leg and how I have to go and see a neurologist? (If not please refer to the previous blog and try to keep up, this blog isn't for the slow or the weak at heart!) Well now that numbness comes in to play; my doctor just called and said that those progesterone shots that has Nat to give me can only go on my left side.
How freakin' awesome!
So twice a day for possibly 8 weeks I will be getting a shot, in the butt, from this needle.
I bet you feel sorry for me again, am I right?!
That needle isn't little and it has to bite me twice a day in the same spot, lucky me! I'm actually hyping this up a bit, surprisingly that shot isn't too bad, having a fat butt comes in handy for once. I'm more nervous about the twice a day in one spot issue, last month I got one shot a day on either side and was a bit sore. Woe is me.
Ok that's enough out of me for now. My sister-in-law Christy is coming home this weekend and then on Sunday or Monday my friend Michelle and her daughter Makenzie are coming up to York until Tuesday, so basically I will be continually distracted until my transfer! Yay!!
Fingers and toes crossed for Wednesday please. I'll update from my bedrest.......
Sunday, November 06, 2005
Is it really November?
How about this weather??
If you aren't a Yorker then let me tell you, 75 degree days in November are not the norm! Yesterday, while watching the Penn State game, the commentators were talking about how funny it was to be in Happy Valley in November and there not being any snow or freezing weather. It's crazy, but we are loving it!
Since it will most likely be the last bit of warm weather mother nature will throw our way Nat and I decided to take a hike, literally. About 1 mile from our house is Lake Redman, a lake, duh, and park with trails and tons of gorgeous trees that are just reaching their peak fall coloring. It was great, some sun, fun and exercise.
On the medical front, I had another ultrasound on Friday and everything is looking good. I let Dr. Filer know that I was still having numbness in my leg from the progesterone shots, they ended over a month ago, and he said that wasn't normal and set me up with a neurology appointment. Who knows what will come of that appointment; just more weird stories to add to my already long list. Speaking of weird, no acupuncture this week, Jenny is in Jamaica......maybe that's where she gets that sage stuff she burned during last weeks appointment?! Hum......
Well it's off to the basement to watch some football. Have a good week!!
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck it must be a duck, right?
This is me about 2 hours ago, laying on the table with needles sticking out of my stomach. I played secret undercover journalist today, steathily sneaking my camera in to the acupuncturist. You can see that they are little, skinny needles, I swear they don't hurt at all, but they are weird to look at. Taking this picture turned out to be a bit more difficult than I had planned, I had a needle on the inner side of my elbow so I couldn't bend my right arm. Have you ever tried taking a picture with your left hand, not easy!!
I smell like a giant doobie!!
As soon as Jenny lit this herbal cigar thing it was like a giant flashback to the dorms on a Friday night at West Virginia University. That smell was so dead on that I was actually watching my speed on the way home thinking that if I got pulled over there was no way of avoiding jail. Seriously. After she lit the "joint" she ran it up and down my legs and feet and over my stomach, close enough to my skin that I could feel the heat. Jenny said that the smoke would open up my pathways and cleanse my spleen and kidneys, important for keeping my chi flowing correctly.
Okey Dokey!
All I know that it did for sure was make me reek so badly that my cat ran in the opposite direction when I came in the front door. I ran up to the bedroom and immediately ripped off my "acupuncture clothes" and threw them in the hamper, stuffing them way down to the bottom. I should just throw them in the laundry but I want Nat to smell that smell, aahh the joys of being my husband.
Well oddly enough after all of this excitement I am now sleepy, the faux Mary Jane is taking its' toll. I taped the Amazing Race from last night so I think I am going to get all snuggled back in bed and watch my favorite crazy Italian family embarrass themselves once again on national television, their favorite pastime is yelling at each other and they are great at it! (if you watch that show you know who I'm talking about)
Have a great day!!!
Monday, October 31, 2005
Oops I Did It Again
Can you believe that I still can't get this shot thing down?? The bruise under my belly button is from Friday and the one forming on the side is yesterday's handiwork. I guess the silver lining is that they don't hurt, but man are they ugly, just looking at the picture is scary. Consider it your Halloween treat from me! Boo!In other non-freightening news I am doing really well on the Estrogen pills, in fact I down right like them. Today was the third day on the pills and as far as Nat and I can tell I am having no nasty side effects and as a bonus I am sleeping through the night and Nat even called me "bubbly" today, me likey Estrogen! Now if we could only make a drug like that that didn't cause cancer..........
Hopefully I will be giving you a fun lesson from my acupuncture visit on Wednesday, Jenny is going to be burning some sage type thing over my stomach. What is it for? I guess to make me fertile. Will there be chanting? Who knows, but man I hope so. It's going to be crazy awesome!
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Once again I have to apologize for my very long break between posts; it has been a crazy week here at the Burt compound. The week started off with promise, meaning Monday was good, but by Tuesday I was taking care of a sick husband with some sort of food poisoning. (no I didn't do it!!) Right now he is on this really horrible bland diet which consists mainly of bananas, toast, grilled chicken and rice; I feel guilty eating anything in front of him so I try to sneak meals in when he isn't looking. We were hoping that he would be able to try some different foods by tomorrow but this morning we had a set back, he got sick again, so we might have to push it back another day or two. Poor Nat.
On a different note I had a pretty good week. I went in for my acupuncture on Wednesday, which I now not only enjoy but look forward to going. This week was the closest I have gotten to falling asleep, again it was really cold outside so the heating lamp was heavenly. Now I might not have explained the proximity of the acupuncture place to the York Hospital before, but we are talking two maybe three blocks. Lady luck had been on my side thus far because I had heard ambulances on prior visits but they were always off in the distance coming from what I assume was the other direction.
Well this visit my luck finally ran out!
As I was getting warmed up and mellowed out when an unannounced ambulance came screaming by the front of the building. Now normally you can hear them coming, the sirens blaring in the distance, but this time I heard nothing until the whoop-whoop noise right as I was closing my eyes. It scared the you-know-what out of me. I did in fact jump up and my sweatpants, which were pulled up to my knees, came down over one of the needles in my calf and when I instictively pulled my pants leg back up one of the needles caught a little and started shaking. Uncomfortable.
Jenny, the acupuncturist, came in to apologize for the noise but what can you do, we are right by the hospital. I never did fully relax for the next half an hour, I kept listening to the street noises and trying to hear any oncoming sirens in the distance. Of course I didn't hear anything except for the occasional college student, yes York College is about 3 blocks in the other direction, blaring Dave Matthews or U2, much less invasive.
On the topic of invasive, I also had bloodwork and an ultrasound yesterday. I don't know what they were checking for but they said everything looked good and I passed the first test. This morning I started Estrace, which is an estrogen supplement and I am still giving myself a shot of Lupron every evening. I'm still waking up between 3:30am and 4:30am and for some reason I have been getting some wicked back cramps; my mother-in-law gave me a heating pad with adjustable levels of heat that is beyond awesome for stuff like this, I highly recommend it if anyone is in the heating pad market. Other than those two things, which I am used to and are controllable, I am doing really well. Yay!!!
Once again changing subjects I wanted to wish Christina (Tillotson) Sheets a happy birthday. The other day my friend Karen sent out one of those "friendship questionnaires" which nobody ever responds to except for me, and one of the questions was "what friend have you known the longest?". I answered my sister Liz because at the time I couldn't think of anybody I had been friends with since I was little, I changed schools in high school so I lost touch with all of the people I had known when I was small. Early this morning when I was laying in bed trying to fall back asleep I remembered that Christina, Bird to me, and I have known each other forever. I tried to call my mom this morning and verify the exact length of time, but as per usual, she wasn't home. I'm going to guess we were 4 or 5, maybe younger, I'll keep trying to figure this one out. Anyway, Happy 29th old friend, I hope you have a great weekend and then birthday!!!
To everyone else, enjoy the weekend and have a Spooktacular Halloween!!!
Well I have to get going, Nat is pacing, assumably bored with me typing away, so I am going to go and pay attention to him.
On a different note I had a pretty good week. I went in for my acupuncture on Wednesday, which I now not only enjoy but look forward to going. This week was the closest I have gotten to falling asleep, again it was really cold outside so the heating lamp was heavenly. Now I might not have explained the proximity of the acupuncture place to the York Hospital before, but we are talking two maybe three blocks. Lady luck had been on my side thus far because I had heard ambulances on prior visits but they were always off in the distance coming from what I assume was the other direction.
Well this visit my luck finally ran out!
As I was getting warmed up and mellowed out when an unannounced ambulance came screaming by the front of the building. Now normally you can hear them coming, the sirens blaring in the distance, but this time I heard nothing until the whoop-whoop noise right as I was closing my eyes. It scared the you-know-what out of me. I did in fact jump up and my sweatpants, which were pulled up to my knees, came down over one of the needles in my calf and when I instictively pulled my pants leg back up one of the needles caught a little and started shaking. Uncomfortable.
Jenny, the acupuncturist, came in to apologize for the noise but what can you do, we are right by the hospital. I never did fully relax for the next half an hour, I kept listening to the street noises and trying to hear any oncoming sirens in the distance. Of course I didn't hear anything except for the occasional college student, yes York College is about 3 blocks in the other direction, blaring Dave Matthews or U2, much less invasive.
On the topic of invasive, I also had bloodwork and an ultrasound yesterday. I don't know what they were checking for but they said everything looked good and I passed the first test. This morning I started Estrace, which is an estrogen supplement and I am still giving myself a shot of Lupron every evening. I'm still waking up between 3:30am and 4:30am and for some reason I have been getting some wicked back cramps; my mother-in-law gave me a heating pad with adjustable levels of heat that is beyond awesome for stuff like this, I highly recommend it if anyone is in the heating pad market. Other than those two things, which I am used to and are controllable, I am doing really well. Yay!!!
Once again changing subjects I wanted to wish Christina (Tillotson) Sheets a happy birthday. The other day my friend Karen sent out one of those "friendship questionnaires" which nobody ever responds to except for me, and one of the questions was "what friend have you known the longest?". I answered my sister Liz because at the time I couldn't think of anybody I had been friends with since I was little, I changed schools in high school so I lost touch with all of the people I had known when I was small. Early this morning when I was laying in bed trying to fall back asleep I remembered that Christina, Bird to me, and I have known each other forever. I tried to call my mom this morning and verify the exact length of time, but as per usual, she wasn't home. I'm going to guess we were 4 or 5, maybe younger, I'll keep trying to figure this one out. Anyway, Happy 29th old friend, I hope you have a great weekend and then birthday!!!
To everyone else, enjoy the weekend and have a Spooktacular Halloween!!!
Well I have to get going, Nat is pacing, assumably bored with me typing away, so I am going to go and pay attention to him.
Saturday, October 22, 2005
What to do??
Well here we are, 4:15am wide awake with nothing to do. I am sitting in the basement staring at a blank TV because for some reason I can't get the stupid thing to work. You know how sometimes all you want to do is lay on the couch and watch mindnumbing shows, well that's me right now and I can't turn dang thing on! Last night Nat, Sarah and Tim were playing video games down here so I have a sneaking suspicion that something was turned off so as to prevent me from enjoying quality programming, because at 4am it's all about Court TV and Cops is definitely on some channel, just waiting for me to watch.
The extent of my frustration only begins with the now useless TV. Today will be my fourth day back on the Lupron and let me be clear, I hate this stuff. So far I have woken up the past two nights around 3am, just basically sitting up in bed wide awake. This action always, without fail, wakes up the cat who then starts meowing and moving around in bed searching for a better spot, somewhere within petting distance. I always try to close my eyes, pet the cat and try to think calming thoughts but that is usually the exact time when Nat rolls over and begins snoring in my face. After about 15 minutes of snoring Nat and whining cat, haha that rhymes, I muster the energy to get out of dodge. The nutty thing is that even though I am wide awake I am physically tired; so making the decision to go down two flights of stairs to sit on the sofa and watch TV instead of going to the guest bedroom was huge.
I now know that I should have stayed upstairs where TV's work and beds are plentifully.
So now the next choice, should I go back upstairs or stay down here and play on the internet and read until I am ready to fall back asleep. Upstairs I have a bed/TV combo guest room, but there is a half awake cat stalking that floor and my return will only call for constant petting until she is back asleep. Then again, I will already be in bed when I get sleepy so I could just roll over and pass out. On the other hand down here in the basement I have two books that I am currently reading, one scary and one that is interesting but a guaranteed yawner; but reading involves thinking and right now my brain is over 50% mush so reading might be out. I do have the sleep inducing sofa down here, it's so squishy and warm. This decision could also be risky considering I am getting the crazy hot flashes again, what to do, what to do.
Right now I wish I had an on call decision maker, I could just call her up give her two situations and she could tell me which scenario to go with. Yes I'm pathetic and complaining is my favorite past time, but man this no sleeping thing bends me out of shape. The big questions in life have been whittled down to weighing the pros and cons of sleeping in the basement or the guest bedroom.
I think I'm going to make the trek upstairs. I'm not entirely happy with this decision; I have to be quiet up there and remember the 15lb. stalker, well she found me down here so when we go up she is going to be in play mode. The decision really boils down to the fact that I need something to entertain me and since Nat wouldn't enjoy being forced awake TV is my next best choice.
Upstairs I go, to further my cause in the never ending quest for a full nights sleep. My enemy Lupron will be around for the next two weeks so expect more 4am blogs in the future; in a few days I will even be used to it so the whining Suzi will be the sadly accepting Suzi and normal blogging should return.
The extent of my frustration only begins with the now useless TV. Today will be my fourth day back on the Lupron and let me be clear, I hate this stuff. So far I have woken up the past two nights around 3am, just basically sitting up in bed wide awake. This action always, without fail, wakes up the cat who then starts meowing and moving around in bed searching for a better spot, somewhere within petting distance. I always try to close my eyes, pet the cat and try to think calming thoughts but that is usually the exact time when Nat rolls over and begins snoring in my face. After about 15 minutes of snoring Nat and whining cat, haha that rhymes, I muster the energy to get out of dodge. The nutty thing is that even though I am wide awake I am physically tired; so making the decision to go down two flights of stairs to sit on the sofa and watch TV instead of going to the guest bedroom was huge.
I now know that I should have stayed upstairs where TV's work and beds are plentifully.
So now the next choice, should I go back upstairs or stay down here and play on the internet and read until I am ready to fall back asleep. Upstairs I have a bed/TV combo guest room, but there is a half awake cat stalking that floor and my return will only call for constant petting until she is back asleep. Then again, I will already be in bed when I get sleepy so I could just roll over and pass out. On the other hand down here in the basement I have two books that I am currently reading, one scary and one that is interesting but a guaranteed yawner; but reading involves thinking and right now my brain is over 50% mush so reading might be out. I do have the sleep inducing sofa down here, it's so squishy and warm. This decision could also be risky considering I am getting the crazy hot flashes again, what to do, what to do.
Right now I wish I had an on call decision maker, I could just call her up give her two situations and she could tell me which scenario to go with. Yes I'm pathetic and complaining is my favorite past time, but man this no sleeping thing bends me out of shape. The big questions in life have been whittled down to weighing the pros and cons of sleeping in the basement or the guest bedroom.
I think I'm going to make the trek upstairs. I'm not entirely happy with this decision; I have to be quiet up there and remember the 15lb. stalker, well she found me down here so when we go up she is going to be in play mode. The decision really boils down to the fact that I need something to entertain me and since Nat wouldn't enjoy being forced awake TV is my next best choice.
Upstairs I go, to further my cause in the never ending quest for a full nights sleep. My enemy Lupron will be around for the next two weeks so expect more 4am blogs in the future; in a few days I will even be used to it so the whining Suzi will be the sadly accepting Suzi and normal blogging should return.
Friday, October 14, 2005
Sarah's Wedding Pictures
Ok, Nat and I look like deer stuck in headlights, but this post was about the other pictures. Sarah and Tim's wedding went off without a hitch. They were married October 8th at the chapel at First Presbyterian Church in York, Pa. Obviously these pictures were taken by Nat and I so don't make fun of the quality.
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Getting Stuck
Yesterday was my first appointment with Jenny the accupunturist. I wasn't sure how I would do with acupuncture and as you will learn I'm still not too sure. The whole idea of Eastern medicine is "out there" to me; I mean I believe that vitamins and some herbs are good for you and can be a great supplement to Western medicine but the idea of sticking needles into my body to help me relax seemed and seems a bit weird. But what the heck, if it works I'll be strutting around in a kimono for the rest of my life!
Anyhow, my appointment was at 11am and I got there a little bit early because I had to fill out some questionnaires about the extent of my infertility. I was greeted at the door by Boomer, Jenny's black lab, who sat with me while I filled out my paper work. Most of the questions were about how my body works, if I'm normally hot or cold, if I get colds a lot, do I pee regularly, and other stuff about my period which I won't go into because even some rivers are too wide to cross! Once I was done I was led into a room with a massage table and a desk and chairs, new age music in the background and tons of Asian artwork, lamps, rugs and other stuff decorating the room. Boomer came with me. I was starting to feel like I had gotten myself in to some weird cult like situation and then I met Jenny.
I don't know why but she wasn't what I was expecting. She was a middle aged, overweight, white hippie woman that said "shit" within the first few sentences out of her mouth. She was funny and weird, but I liked her and she relaxed me quite a bit. We sat and talked for a little, realizing that she lived two blocks from where I grew up, and then we got down to business. Now let me start by saying that I really do believe that she knew what she was talking about and you could tell that she practiced what she preached. She asked me to lay on the table, on my back and the first thing she did was ask to touch my stomach with one hand and my upper rib cage area with the other.
Diagnosis #1- I have a cold uterus.
It was weird because I could feel the difference when I touched the areas; my stomach area was much colder. But what the cold uterus means, I dunno? The next set of questions led her to the next diagnosis:
#2- I have great kidneys.
Apparently if you have thick hair your kidneys ROCK! There were other qualifications for this diagnosis but all I really remember was the thick hair part. Finally all that hair has a purpose! My other diagnosis were:
#3- Excess body heat
#4- Excess blood (or something like that?!)
So after telling me about my ailments it was time to begin with the pricking. I was laying on my back with pillows under my head and knees. There was a small heat lamp over my abdomen, warming up my cold uterus. The new age music was turned up and just as I was trying to make out what the singer was trying to say, which was not in English, I got my first puncture.
For some reason I was under the delusion that these needles would be so tiny that I wouldn't really feel them, WRONG! The first needle was about two inches under my belly button and I definitely felt it. The next two in my belly didn't hurt and the ones on my hand, arm, leg and forehead didn't bother me either, but then there was the one on my foot, my right foot to be exact. The needle went in to the vein right next to my ankle bone on the inside of my foot and man did that sting. Jenny's excuse for that one is that that was the spot that is inline with my kidneys and since my kidneys are so awesome that it might hurt a little. Whatever.
Once Jenny was done she left me, the heating lamp, and the crazy new age lady singing some weird music alone for about 30 minutes. I will admit that it was relaxing having the heating lamp on me, it was dark and raining outside and that little bit of heat made me feel warm and cozy. But every time I would open my eyes I could see this needle sticking out of my forehead and I'll be honest, it freaked me out a little. After laying there and trying to relax for a half and hour Jenny came back, removed the needles and sent me on my way, with an appointment to come back next week.
That was it, my first experience with Acupuncture. I still don't know how I was suppose to feel and to some extent wondering if I did the relaxing part right. Jenny told me to order this book about Infertility and Eastern medicine, so like a sucker I did. I guess I'll try anything once. I go back again next Wednesday, back to redo this whole weird thing again. Hopefully by then someone will tell me how this is supposed to work?!
Anyhow, my appointment was at 11am and I got there a little bit early because I had to fill out some questionnaires about the extent of my infertility. I was greeted at the door by Boomer, Jenny's black lab, who sat with me while I filled out my paper work. Most of the questions were about how my body works, if I'm normally hot or cold, if I get colds a lot, do I pee regularly, and other stuff about my period which I won't go into because even some rivers are too wide to cross! Once I was done I was led into a room with a massage table and a desk and chairs, new age music in the background and tons of Asian artwork, lamps, rugs and other stuff decorating the room. Boomer came with me. I was starting to feel like I had gotten myself in to some weird cult like situation and then I met Jenny.
I don't know why but she wasn't what I was expecting. She was a middle aged, overweight, white hippie woman that said "shit" within the first few sentences out of her mouth. She was funny and weird, but I liked her and she relaxed me quite a bit. We sat and talked for a little, realizing that she lived two blocks from where I grew up, and then we got down to business. Now let me start by saying that I really do believe that she knew what she was talking about and you could tell that she practiced what she preached. She asked me to lay on the table, on my back and the first thing she did was ask to touch my stomach with one hand and my upper rib cage area with the other.
Diagnosis #1- I have a cold uterus.
It was weird because I could feel the difference when I touched the areas; my stomach area was much colder. But what the cold uterus means, I dunno? The next set of questions led her to the next diagnosis:
#2- I have great kidneys.
Apparently if you have thick hair your kidneys ROCK! There were other qualifications for this diagnosis but all I really remember was the thick hair part. Finally all that hair has a purpose! My other diagnosis were:
#3- Excess body heat
#4- Excess blood (or something like that?!)
So after telling me about my ailments it was time to begin with the pricking. I was laying on my back with pillows under my head and knees. There was a small heat lamp over my abdomen, warming up my cold uterus. The new age music was turned up and just as I was trying to make out what the singer was trying to say, which was not in English, I got my first puncture.
For some reason I was under the delusion that these needles would be so tiny that I wouldn't really feel them, WRONG! The first needle was about two inches under my belly button and I definitely felt it. The next two in my belly didn't hurt and the ones on my hand, arm, leg and forehead didn't bother me either, but then there was the one on my foot, my right foot to be exact. The needle went in to the vein right next to my ankle bone on the inside of my foot and man did that sting. Jenny's excuse for that one is that that was the spot that is inline with my kidneys and since my kidneys are so awesome that it might hurt a little. Whatever.
Once Jenny was done she left me, the heating lamp, and the crazy new age lady singing some weird music alone for about 30 minutes. I will admit that it was relaxing having the heating lamp on me, it was dark and raining outside and that little bit of heat made me feel warm and cozy. But every time I would open my eyes I could see this needle sticking out of my forehead and I'll be honest, it freaked me out a little. After laying there and trying to relax for a half and hour Jenny came back, removed the needles and sent me on my way, with an appointment to come back next week.
That was it, my first experience with Acupuncture. I still don't know how I was suppose to feel and to some extent wondering if I did the relaxing part right. Jenny told me to order this book about Infertility and Eastern medicine, so like a sucker I did. I guess I'll try anything once. I go back again next Wednesday, back to redo this whole weird thing again. Hopefully by then someone will tell me how this is supposed to work?!
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
My Scout
I took this picture the other day of my cat Scout and for some unknown reason I thought you might like to see her. Isn't she cool?! The reason I really like this picture is because you can't see how fat she is and I'm not being mean, she's a porker. But she's my porker and I love her! Ok randomness over.... Read on, the following post is the real meat and potatoes........
IVF Pt. 2
Our post IVF meeting was bright and early this morning with Dr. Filer. He let us know that there was nothing wrong with our past cycle, in fact everything looked great, we just happened to be on the wrong end of the statistical average. How about that luck! Our next cycle will begin as soon as my monthly friend decides to rear its ugly head, the progesterone shots delay your period but also intensify it because its sole purpose is to keep your lining thick. Awesome again! I will then be on birth control pills to regulate my cycle to their schedule and then the fun drugs begin anew.
This time I will be on Lupron, the hot-flash drug, and Estrace, a pill(finally), that I still haven't figured out what it does. Since they won't be needing me to produce any eggs this time I'm assuming the Estrace will suppress my ovaries some how? And Nat's job will eventually return with the progesterone shots after the transfer.
This cycle is officially called an FET, frozen embryo transfer. If you remember from my blog we were able to freeze 7 embryos from our stimulated cycle. We are again going to transfer 3 embryos so they will begin by thawing 3 and if one of them doesn't survive the thawing process they will thaw another until we have 3. They will then perform a procedure called Assisted Hatching on the embryos, which will puncture the shell of the embryo to create a little break in the shell that will help it attach better to the uterus. Apparently when you freeze these guys their shell hardens a little too much so they need a helping hand. From that point on everything else will proceed exactly like before, the transfer and the wait. I am already dreading the water torture phase where I have to drink until the point of explosion for the transfer, how haven't they figured out a better way to do that yet?!
My transfer will be the week before Thanksgiving, either on that Tuesday or Thursday. I checked the calendar and there is a full moon on that Wednesday, is that good luck or bad luck? I am also going to give acupuncture a try this time. You wouldn't believe all of the women that swear by it for IVF cycles; so I figure what the heck, it can't hurt and maybe it will relax me. I have my first session for that a week from today, so that will most likely be my next post. This weekend is my little sister Sarah's wedding so I will be in full party mode and like my mom said, it stinks that this cycle didn't work but at least I can drink at the wedding! (she always tries to find the silver lining!)
I hope everybody has a great weekend!!!!
This time I will be on Lupron, the hot-flash drug, and Estrace, a pill(finally), that I still haven't figured out what it does. Since they won't be needing me to produce any eggs this time I'm assuming the Estrace will suppress my ovaries some how? And Nat's job will eventually return with the progesterone shots after the transfer.
This cycle is officially called an FET, frozen embryo transfer. If you remember from my blog we were able to freeze 7 embryos from our stimulated cycle. We are again going to transfer 3 embryos so they will begin by thawing 3 and if one of them doesn't survive the thawing process they will thaw another until we have 3. They will then perform a procedure called Assisted Hatching on the embryos, which will puncture the shell of the embryo to create a little break in the shell that will help it attach better to the uterus. Apparently when you freeze these guys their shell hardens a little too much so they need a helping hand. From that point on everything else will proceed exactly like before, the transfer and the wait. I am already dreading the water torture phase where I have to drink until the point of explosion for the transfer, how haven't they figured out a better way to do that yet?!
My transfer will be the week before Thanksgiving, either on that Tuesday or Thursday. I checked the calendar and there is a full moon on that Wednesday, is that good luck or bad luck? I am also going to give acupuncture a try this time. You wouldn't believe all of the women that swear by it for IVF cycles; so I figure what the heck, it can't hurt and maybe it will relax me. I have my first session for that a week from today, so that will most likely be my next post. This weekend is my little sister Sarah's wedding so I will be in full party mode and like my mom said, it stinks that this cycle didn't work but at least I can drink at the wedding! (she always tries to find the silver lining!)
I hope everybody has a great weekend!!!!
Monday, October 03, 2005
On to November
Well it's official, I'm not pregnant this time.
I started having some pretty heavy cramping on Saturday and then began spotting later that evening. My dad had taken my sisters and I to see the Rolling Stones that night and I knew something wasn't right because my dancing was sub-par and my funk was all out of whack. I called my doctor Sunday morning and he told me to come in this morning(Monday) and have a blood test. They just called.
So this stinks, I was all excited this time, I thought this was finally my month! I'm still hopeful that this is going to work for us, I haven't lost my positivity. We have a meeting with our doctor on Wednesday morning to discuss what went wrong and how to fix it on our next attempt, which will be in November. As for right now, I am going to get a little retail therapy this afternoon at the outlets in Lancaster. Maybe a new pair of shoes or a purse will help a little bit?!
Thank you, all of you, for your thoughts and prayers and continued support through this whole ordeal. November will mark our 1 year anniversary with infertility treatment and that is a long time to support a moody friend. I have faith that somewhere out there in the ether a child is waiting for Nat and I, it may not turn out to be our flesh and blood like we had wanted, but it will be the one destined to be the love of our lives.
On to the next chapter.....
I started having some pretty heavy cramping on Saturday and then began spotting later that evening. My dad had taken my sisters and I to see the Rolling Stones that night and I knew something wasn't right because my dancing was sub-par and my funk was all out of whack. I called my doctor Sunday morning and he told me to come in this morning(Monday) and have a blood test. They just called.
So this stinks, I was all excited this time, I thought this was finally my month! I'm still hopeful that this is going to work for us, I haven't lost my positivity. We have a meeting with our doctor on Wednesday morning to discuss what went wrong and how to fix it on our next attempt, which will be in November. As for right now, I am going to get a little retail therapy this afternoon at the outlets in Lancaster. Maybe a new pair of shoes or a purse will help a little bit?!
Thank you, all of you, for your thoughts and prayers and continued support through this whole ordeal. November will mark our 1 year anniversary with infertility treatment and that is a long time to support a moody friend. I have faith that somewhere out there in the ether a child is waiting for Nat and I, it may not turn out to be our flesh and blood like we had wanted, but it will be the one destined to be the love of our lives.
On to the next chapter.....
Monday, September 26, 2005
Almost Healthy Again!
Back to the doctors office today, for the last time before the BIG test, thank goodness. Today I had to have my progesterone level checked, just what I needed another blood test. I'm not sure what the amount of progesterone in your body really means but I know that when going through IVF they want it to be pretty high, hence the shots of the stuff right in to your butt muscle. They told me that if they didn't call that meant that my levels were good and they didn't so no change to my protocol.
I also had to have my ovaries checked again. I went in on Friday because I was still having pain that didn't seem to want to go away and found out that not only had I developed ovarian hyper stimulation but also a urinary tract infection, how super fun! The antibiotics that she gave me on Friday seemed to work really fast so the urinary tract infection has cleared out, but the ovaries are still large and in charge. Normally your ovaries should be around 2cm, mine can't seem to shrink below 8cm. Plus they are covered in cysts and leaking what they call "free fluid", basically water, in to my abdominal cavity. The leaking part may sound gross, but it isn't too dangerous unless the fluid begins to leak in to your lungs, then you got some serious problems. Luckily for me I didn't leak out too much, although I did get to have an ultrasound done on my lungs which was cool and ticklish at the same time.
So that's it for now. I don't think I will be posting anything new until next Tuesday after my pregnancy test. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers and remember we aren't praying for triplets people, I know who you are and I have already asked God to override your prayers!
I also had to have my ovaries checked again. I went in on Friday because I was still having pain that didn't seem to want to go away and found out that not only had I developed ovarian hyper stimulation but also a urinary tract infection, how super fun! The antibiotics that she gave me on Friday seemed to work really fast so the urinary tract infection has cleared out, but the ovaries are still large and in charge. Normally your ovaries should be around 2cm, mine can't seem to shrink below 8cm. Plus they are covered in cysts and leaking what they call "free fluid", basically water, in to my abdominal cavity. The leaking part may sound gross, but it isn't too dangerous unless the fluid begins to leak in to your lungs, then you got some serious problems. Luckily for me I didn't leak out too much, although I did get to have an ultrasound done on my lungs which was cool and ticklish at the same time.
So that's it for now. I don't think I will be posting anything new until next Tuesday after my pregnancy test. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers and remember we aren't praying for triplets people, I know who you are and I have already asked God to override your prayers!
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Now All We Have to do is Wait
We are done with the fun stuff now, can you believe it!! Now is the dreaded 2 week wait, my pregnancy test isn't until October 4th, that seems eons away.
This morning, well it was really 11:15am, we went back to the Fertility Center. Remember how I cheated with the full bladder test the last time; well once a cheater always a cheater, I started drinking my water around 10:45am, that was when I was supposed to be done. But once again it worked; I have my cheating down to an art form. Nat was freaking out that I wouldn't have a full bladder in time, he of little faith! We got there a little early and they were all ready for us.
The first thing that happened when we got there was the run down from our doctor about the quality of our embryos and the number we wanted tranfered. Yesterday I was pretty positive that we were going to be transferring 2 and freezing the other 8; Nat and I had decided that would be our magic number. Well we were wrong. Dr. Filer suggested that we transfer 3; anybody else just jump a little there? He said with 3 we had a 50% chance of getting pregnant, and a 30% chance of twins. Triplets, please keep praying here, are a less than 5%; if we have triplets I am moving in with my parents or my inlaws. Could you imagine??
So we also got the grading system for our embryos. #1's were the best and #4's the worst; we had 7-#1, 2-#2 and 1#3. So three of the #1's were transferred in me today, let's go number 1's!!! All the others were frozen for siblings, unless triplets, I'm serious people this freaks me out a bit.
The actual procedure wasn't bad at all. Nat was allowed in to the room, which was a welcome change. First they gave me a shot of Versed, a mild muscle relaxer, right in the butt, of course. Then the tranfer was under way. It took about 15 minutes and then I had to lay on the table for another 30 minutes. The table was the star of the show, it was tilted backwards so my head was closest to the ground and my legs were up in the air. I figured that it had something to do with making the embryos enjoy their new home, but really I have no idea because all it did was make it impossible to read a magazine. After my 30 minutes was up we came for the start of my 24 hours of bed rest!!
The next time I am at the doctors office is on the 26th when they will be checking my progesterone level and then the 4th for the pregnancy test.
On the 4th we will be telling you, our friends and family, about the results of our test. In a normal pregnancy we would wait until we heard the heartbeat to let everyone know, but this is such a different situation. I feel that this situation warrants the celebration of being pregnant as soon as we hear, no matter what happens. You have all shared my ups and downs and I would like to continue sharing it all with you; you are my support system and I need friends and family more now than ever. I CAN'T BELIVE I HAVE TO WAIT 2 WEEKS!!!
I hope you all have a fantastic weekend and if you are in the way of Rita, be safe!! Thanks for all of your continued prayers and support, we couldn't have gotten this far without it!
This morning, well it was really 11:15am, we went back to the Fertility Center. Remember how I cheated with the full bladder test the last time; well once a cheater always a cheater, I started drinking my water around 10:45am, that was when I was supposed to be done. But once again it worked; I have my cheating down to an art form. Nat was freaking out that I wouldn't have a full bladder in time, he of little faith! We got there a little early and they were all ready for us.
The first thing that happened when we got there was the run down from our doctor about the quality of our embryos and the number we wanted tranfered. Yesterday I was pretty positive that we were going to be transferring 2 and freezing the other 8; Nat and I had decided that would be our magic number. Well we were wrong. Dr. Filer suggested that we transfer 3; anybody else just jump a little there? He said with 3 we had a 50% chance of getting pregnant, and a 30% chance of twins. Triplets, please keep praying here, are a less than 5%; if we have triplets I am moving in with my parents or my inlaws. Could you imagine??
So we also got the grading system for our embryos. #1's were the best and #4's the worst; we had 7-#1, 2-#2 and 1#3. So three of the #1's were transferred in me today, let's go number 1's!!! All the others were frozen for siblings, unless triplets, I'm serious people this freaks me out a bit.
The actual procedure wasn't bad at all. Nat was allowed in to the room, which was a welcome change. First they gave me a shot of Versed, a mild muscle relaxer, right in the butt, of course. Then the tranfer was under way. It took about 15 minutes and then I had to lay on the table for another 30 minutes. The table was the star of the show, it was tilted backwards so my head was closest to the ground and my legs were up in the air. I figured that it had something to do with making the embryos enjoy their new home, but really I have no idea because all it did was make it impossible to read a magazine. After my 30 minutes was up we came for the start of my 24 hours of bed rest!!
The next time I am at the doctors office is on the 26th when they will be checking my progesterone level and then the 4th for the pregnancy test.
On the 4th we will be telling you, our friends and family, about the results of our test. In a normal pregnancy we would wait until we heard the heartbeat to let everyone know, but this is such a different situation. I feel that this situation warrants the celebration of being pregnant as soon as we hear, no matter what happens. You have all shared my ups and downs and I would like to continue sharing it all with you; you are my support system and I need friends and family more now than ever. I CAN'T BELIVE I HAVE TO WAIT 2 WEEKS!!!
I hope you all have a fantastic weekend and if you are in the way of Rita, be safe!! Thanks for all of your continued prayers and support, we couldn't have gotten this far without it!
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Happy, Happy, Joy-Joy!!
Well my doctor just called to give me the good news; out of the 15 eggs retrieved yesterday 10 were mature and all 10 have fertilized!! I am scheduled for my transfer tomorrow at 11:45am and I am super pumped! Tomorrow Dr. Filer will sit down with Nat and I before the procedure and discuss how many embryos he is going to transfer, we are thinking it will be two. The decision on the number is in the end ours alone to make, but once again I think I am going to defer to the people with all of the degrees.
As you can probably tell I am thrilled with the news. I'm very much looking forward to the transfer tomorrow and hopefully a positive beta, blood pregnancy test, in two weeks.
On a side note not totally unrelated, last night was my first shot in the butt from Nat. It wasn't as bad as we both thought it would be, he didn't pass out and I wasn't bleeding. Nat was really nervous, like I thought of pouring him a stiff drink before hand nervous. I was trying to calm him down by talking him through it and I guess I was just annoying him because he finally yelled, "Shut up and drop your pants." And that was it. It didn't hurt at all, although today it is a bit sore. Hopefully with a good heating pad and some hot baths the soreness will go away, but then again if I do end up pregnant he will have to do this for the next 10 weeks, my poor tush.
For now that's all I have. I will update everyone tomorrow on the status of the transfer. If you all remember my blog from the trial transfer you might remember the problem I had with keeping a full bladder, well game on again tomorrow. I am supposed to be there at 11:15am, the transfer is at 11:45am and it takes about 15-20 minutes for the procedure. You do the math, that's over 45 minutes with a full bladder, major problemo!!
Fingers and toes crossed people, I'll be excited with a full bladder tomorrow who knows what could happen!!!
As you can probably tell I am thrilled with the news. I'm very much looking forward to the transfer tomorrow and hopefully a positive beta, blood pregnancy test, in two weeks.
On a side note not totally unrelated, last night was my first shot in the butt from Nat. It wasn't as bad as we both thought it would be, he didn't pass out and I wasn't bleeding. Nat was really nervous, like I thought of pouring him a stiff drink before hand nervous. I was trying to calm him down by talking him through it and I guess I was just annoying him because he finally yelled, "Shut up and drop your pants." And that was it. It didn't hurt at all, although today it is a bit sore. Hopefully with a good heating pad and some hot baths the soreness will go away, but then again if I do end up pregnant he will have to do this for the next 10 weeks, my poor tush.
For now that's all I have. I will update everyone tomorrow on the status of the transfer. If you all remember my blog from the trial transfer you might remember the problem I had with keeping a full bladder, well game on again tomorrow. I am supposed to be there at 11:15am, the transfer is at 11:45am and it takes about 15-20 minutes for the procedure. You do the math, that's over 45 minutes with a full bladder, major problemo!!
Fingers and toes crossed people, I'll be excited with a full bladder tomorrow who knows what could happen!!!
Monday, September 19, 2005
A Basket Full of Eggs
It's now 9:16am and I am home and feeling great! The egg retrieval went well and they were able to aspirate 15 eggs. Tomorrow morning they will call us and let us know how many of those eggs were fertilized. How exciting!
I can't believe how nervous I was this morning, I was pretty crazy. We had to be there at 7:30am where we signed some papers and went over the rules of the day, no operating heavy machinery, that kind of stuff. They then took me to a separate room where they hooked me up to an EKG, a finger pulse taker, and an IV in the hand; out of everything that hurt the worst. The anesthetist was so comforting, she basically held my hand and stroked my forehead while she put the knock out juice in me. And that was all I remember until waking up in the recovery room.
Nat was there and so was my LPN Michele, ready with water and a snack. I actually don't have anything to complain about other than the fact that I was a worry wart over nothing. I still feel a little groggy and after I eat my lemon poppy seed bread I am going to lay down and watch some toons. Yay!!
Thanks for all of your thoughts and prayers, they worked, I feel pretty good. I will update you all tomorrow to let you know how many eggs fertilized!!!
I can't believe how nervous I was this morning, I was pretty crazy. We had to be there at 7:30am where we signed some papers and went over the rules of the day, no operating heavy machinery, that kind of stuff. They then took me to a separate room where they hooked me up to an EKG, a finger pulse taker, and an IV in the hand; out of everything that hurt the worst. The anesthetist was so comforting, she basically held my hand and stroked my forehead while she put the knock out juice in me. And that was all I remember until waking up in the recovery room.
Nat was there and so was my LPN Michele, ready with water and a snack. I actually don't have anything to complain about other than the fact that I was a worry wart over nothing. I still feel a little groggy and after I eat my lemon poppy seed bread I am going to lay down and watch some toons. Yay!!
Thanks for all of your thoughts and prayers, they worked, I feel pretty good. I will update you all tomorrow to let you know how many eggs fertilized!!!
Sunday, September 18, 2005
I feel yucky, oh so yucky...
This morning I woke up early, 6:45am, went downstairs ate some breakfast and read the paper. I took my first doxycycline, an antibiotic so I don't get any infections with the procedure tomorrow, and within 25 minutes I was so cramped up I couldn't even lay down. I don't know whether to blame it on breakfast, frosted mini-wheats, or the antibiotic, but whatever got in to me is taking its sweet time to get out. It's now 3pm and I am still nauseous, cramped up, and basically feeling like crud. My cat and I have been laying on the bed watching the Eagles and now an old Perry Mason movie on CourtTV. I'm so jealous that she can just fall asleep, between the upset stomach and my being nervous about tomorrow I have a feeling that I won't see the inside of my eyes until they knock me out in the morning. I guess this is just of prelude of what will hopefully come in the next 9 months....Oh Boy!!
Friday, September 16, 2005
It's Go Time!!
Today was my last ultrasound and round of bloodwork, which is good because I'm running out of non-bruised arm for them to use. I woke up this morning feeling the worst I have felt yet; I have back cramps, front cramps and now I seemed to have developed nausea. How awesome is that!!!
It is all worth it though because today I had 21 follicles, 10 on the right and 11 on the left. I am starting to feel like a farm animal, a chicken in fact, with all of my eggs. That is going to be it for me though, no more are developing, I have my trigger shot to loosen the follicles tomorrow. My retrieval is scheduled for Monday at 9am and just like all of my books said, I am sooooo ready.
The retrieval should take about 15-30 minutes and I will be in the recovery room for another 30-60 minutes. After that I will go home rest up and wait to hear how the eggs turned out. On Thursday I will go back in and have either 2 or 3 eggs implanted, we will have to wait to see the quality of the little guys to decide. My E2 level today was 1581, which is starting to border on high so my doctor also decided to put me on another drug, starting Monday, to make sure my ovaries still don't hyperstimulate. I'm not sure how they can do that if the follicles have all been removed, but she's the one with all of the degrees so I'll listen to her.
Ok well I am getting ready for my sister's bachelorette party, hopefully I can at least make it through dinner. Please think of me on Monday and keep me in your prayers and keep Nat in mind too, he has to deal with me after anesthesia!!!
Have a good weekend!!
It is all worth it though because today I had 21 follicles, 10 on the right and 11 on the left. I am starting to feel like a farm animal, a chicken in fact, with all of my eggs. That is going to be it for me though, no more are developing, I have my trigger shot to loosen the follicles tomorrow. My retrieval is scheduled for Monday at 9am and just like all of my books said, I am sooooo ready.
The retrieval should take about 15-30 minutes and I will be in the recovery room for another 30-60 minutes. After that I will go home rest up and wait to hear how the eggs turned out. On Thursday I will go back in and have either 2 or 3 eggs implanted, we will have to wait to see the quality of the little guys to decide. My E2 level today was 1581, which is starting to border on high so my doctor also decided to put me on another drug, starting Monday, to make sure my ovaries still don't hyperstimulate. I'm not sure how they can do that if the follicles have all been removed, but she's the one with all of the degrees so I'll listen to her.
Ok well I am getting ready for my sister's bachelorette party, hopefully I can at least make it through dinner. Please think of me on Monday and keep me in your prayers and keep Nat in mind too, he has to deal with me after anesthesia!!!
Have a good weekend!!
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Searching for a few good eggs
Yeah for me, I can grow follicles!!
Today was a big day for me, huge actually, because this was the first ultrasound, since beginning the Follistim, and if nothing is going on in there they can scrap the mission and BAM, you are back to the beginning. Luckily for me there was a lot going on in there so I am on for my next round of bloodwork and ultrasound on Friday.
I knew something was going on in there because yesterday I started getting some pain on my right side. Having gone through 6 rounds of clomid the pain is a familiar one, it means that something is tugging on your ovaries, hopefully a maturing follicle. The bigger they get the more pain and yesterday it was enough for me to complain about it to Nat, more like whine about it to Nat.
So back to today; I went in and had the ultrasound done first and right away I was able to see the follicles on the ultrasound. I actually knew what I was looking at!! For follicles to be mature enough to harvest they need to be larger than 18mm, sometimes they will take them as small as 15mm but we want big fat ones here. The ultrasound tech said that today she would be looking for follicles that measure 10mm or above, that's the average size that they should be on day 7, that's today for me. Well she found 9, yeah that's right n-I-n-e!! There were 6 on my right side, hence the pain, and 3 on my left. She said there were a few more that were just under 10mm and that by Friday some will catch up with the others. I'm a machine!!
I then had to get my blood taken and at this point the thing they are looking for is your Estradiol level, or your E2 level. What they are looking for is a level that coincides with the number of developing follicles, if the level is low they aren't developing fast enough and if they are too high than you could be developing ovarian hyperstimulation, which I am at a higher risk of getting because of my polycystic ovaries. Anyhow, my levels were good 697, which the nurse said is a good high number, too high would be over 2,000.
I'm super happy with my results today. After reading all of the books about IVF and getting on the message boards you hear all of these stories about what can go wrong and how sometimes the medicines don't work at all, well I guess I'm relieved that things are going along smoothly. I learned today that out of the 18 scheduled IVF patients this month, three have already been cancelled due to poor response from the medicine. I also learned that I am the youngest patient, which really doesn't mean too much, the lab tech just thought she would let me know.
Ok, keep your fingers and toes crossed for more good news on Friday. I will most likely be posting almost everyday from now until next Friday, there will be so much going on; so if you feel like ignoring me for a few days and just hitting the blog once or twice you can wait until next week to get the full story, I wouldn't recommend it, but I'll allow it. (unless you are related to me, than it's manditory that you check, I'll be giving quizzes!)
More Friday!!!!
Today was a big day for me, huge actually, because this was the first ultrasound, since beginning the Follistim, and if nothing is going on in there they can scrap the mission and BAM, you are back to the beginning. Luckily for me there was a lot going on in there so I am on for my next round of bloodwork and ultrasound on Friday.
I knew something was going on in there because yesterday I started getting some pain on my right side. Having gone through 6 rounds of clomid the pain is a familiar one, it means that something is tugging on your ovaries, hopefully a maturing follicle. The bigger they get the more pain and yesterday it was enough for me to complain about it to Nat, more like whine about it to Nat.
So back to today; I went in and had the ultrasound done first and right away I was able to see the follicles on the ultrasound. I actually knew what I was looking at!! For follicles to be mature enough to harvest they need to be larger than 18mm, sometimes they will take them as small as 15mm but we want big fat ones here. The ultrasound tech said that today she would be looking for follicles that measure 10mm or above, that's the average size that they should be on day 7, that's today for me. Well she found 9, yeah that's right n-I-n-e!! There were 6 on my right side, hence the pain, and 3 on my left. She said there were a few more that were just under 10mm and that by Friday some will catch up with the others. I'm a machine!!
I then had to get my blood taken and at this point the thing they are looking for is your Estradiol level, or your E2 level. What they are looking for is a level that coincides with the number of developing follicles, if the level is low they aren't developing fast enough and if they are too high than you could be developing ovarian hyperstimulation, which I am at a higher risk of getting because of my polycystic ovaries. Anyhow, my levels were good 697, which the nurse said is a good high number, too high would be over 2,000.
I'm super happy with my results today. After reading all of the books about IVF and getting on the message boards you hear all of these stories about what can go wrong and how sometimes the medicines don't work at all, well I guess I'm relieved that things are going along smoothly. I learned today that out of the 18 scheduled IVF patients this month, three have already been cancelled due to poor response from the medicine. I also learned that I am the youngest patient, which really doesn't mean too much, the lab tech just thought she would let me know.
Ok, keep your fingers and toes crossed for more good news on Friday. I will most likely be posting almost everyday from now until next Friday, there will be so much going on; so if you feel like ignoring me for a few days and just hitting the blog once or twice you can wait until next week to get the full story, I wouldn't recommend it, but I'll allow it. (unless you are related to me, than it's manditory that you check, I'll be giving quizzes!)
More Friday!!!!
Monday, September 12, 2005
When Good Shots Go Bad
First of all this picture is taken upside down and I was laying down so please excuse the belly, and don't stare at it too much, it's camera shy. I just wanted to show you my first injection bruise, isn't it cute!! The weird thing is that it doesn't hurt at all and I didn't even know it was there until I went to get in the shower. In fact I never did take that shower because it was scary enough to make me run to the doctor to see what I was doing wrong. It turns out that I probably jiggled the needle around a little, sorry if that makes you wince, so now she said I am to ice down the region before giving myself injections. I hope I didn't frighten you with either the bruise or the belly! More on wednesday!!
Sunday, September 11, 2005
A Great Way To Forget About Injections
Sorry about my tardiness. I promised a blog by Thursday and here it is Sunday and I'm just starting, but I have a good reason to be late. I swear I do, but I'll get to that later.
So this past Wednesday was my first round of bloodwork and ultrasound, the first of five. This coming week I will have four more rounds with the needle.
Don't be jealous.
Now that I started my newest injection, Follistim, I have to have my ovaries monitored constantly. With PolyCystic Ovaries there is a chance that you can hyperstimulate the little things and too many eggs develop too quickly and then they have to scrap the IVF for this month. I guess the constant surveillance of my ovaries is a good thing, and the bloodletting for that reason, I guess it's just another freakin' needle right?!
So far so good with the Follistim though; I'm four shots in and I don't think I'm having any side effects. In fact I think my mood has actually been lifted but who knows how temporary that could be. I'm also still on Lupron and still getting hot flashes. Hopefully tomorrow the doctor will tell me that the Lupron is over with, I'm so looking forward to waking up with dry clothes and being able to sit on my chenille couch again. Aah, the good old days.
Well as for my excuse for not getting anything done this weekend; it was Karen's wedding weekend!!! We had a blast! I honestly couldn't think of a better way to distract myself, from myself, than this wedding. The 80's band was slammin', the people were awesome and all of the bridesmaids were wild and crazy, just what the doctor ordered. I've never danced so much in my life; I also never purposely destroyed a bridesmaids dress either, but hey, that was what happened because it was too damn hot and the dress was too damn long. Woo-hoo!!
(Emotional Blogging)
It was so nice having my girlfriends around all weekend to talk to, I really miss that. A big part of growing up is moving on with your own life and it seems as though our lives have all gone in opposite directions and spread us across the eastern seaboard. I selfishly wish they would all move home just so we could continue our friendships the way they were in high school, back before husbands and now children. But things are different now, we have added new friends and made new relationships, we are married and we even have a new little baby to spoil. (Makenzine) Everything has changed and yet nothing has changed at all. We still have the same inside jokes, we still laugh at each other and we still turn to one another for reactions when something funny happens. I look at my girlfriends that have now become women through the same eyes but with a different focus. I cherish our memories, anticipate our futures and know that these friendships will always stay exactly the way they are, the way friendships should aspire to be, filled with love and laughter. Thanks for the memories.....
Monday, August 29, 2005
Trial Transfer
5am came extra early today after being on vacation. Usually I wake up with Nat, talk to him while he get's ready for work and then as soon as he leaves I proptly pass out for another hour or two.
Today was very different.
My day began around 4am when I woke up with hot flashes, ugh. I had actually left our bedroom around midnight because I was hot and "ruching" around in bed so much that I was keeping Nat awake. I trudged down to the basement where it was a bit cooler and plopped down on the couch and watched all of the hurricane news I could handle. I think it was somewhere around 1am when I finally fell asleep; I was so tired that I didn't even turn off the TV. The next thing I remember is waking up, sweating, with two blankets on top of me, looking at the clock and seeing 4:14am and cursing a little under my breath. Stupid hot flashes!! The Lupron is finally rearing its ugly head, dang it. So I started watching CNN again, checking out the hurricane and waiting until 5am to go upstairs and complain to Nat.
5am finally came and I went upstairs to meet Nat and it seems as though he was having issues with being awake that early as well. With no real time to comiserate with each other, I layed back in bed and stared at the walls while he got ready for his day.
The real excitement for the day didn't begin until about 5:30am, when Nat left. I had my trial transfer scheduled for 7:30am. The trial transfer is exactly what it sounds like, they like to measure the path to your uterus before the actual transfer just to make sure they get it right when it's "go time"and there are no surprises. What those surprises could be, I don't know, but that's what they told me, I guess I should have asked. The trick to the transfer is that you must have a full bladder, which means mass consumption of liquids very early in the morning.
The nurse told me that I should be finished drinking 48 oz. of water one hour before my appointment. As soon as Nat left for work I started drinking and by 6:30am I had finished my last drop of water and decided to get ready for my appointment. Now see if you can spot the huge error in my judgement...
I decided to take a bath and read the newspaper to kill some time and take my mind off of the ever growing pressure in my bladder. I was fine for about 15 minutes when it became apparent to me that sitting in warm water was really not helping my cause, on top of that I was reading about a hurricane and I had CNN on in the background discribing the huge "deludge" about to hit New Orleans. I was in trouble. In fact I distinctly remember looking at the clock at 6:45am and thinking to myself that there was no way I could make it another hour without causing myslef major, major pain. So I did what any woman does when she's desperate,
I cheated!!!
I had to go so badly and seriously there was no way, no way, I was going to make it. At 6:58am, 32 minutes before I was supposed to have a full bladder, I broke down and went to the bathroom. I'm such a wuss. As soon as I walked out of the bathroom I put my game face back on and began chugging water like it was free beer at a frat house. Somehow my body had to absorb 48 oz. of water within the next half an hour. I was drinking water so fast that I actually got a stomach ache and for a brief moment thought I was going to throw up. But somehow I did it!! I got to the doctors office and they did a quick ultrasound to check my bladder and she said that it looked good and full and we were ready to go. Yay for cheating!
The whole procedure took about 5 minutes and I have gone to the bathroom about 5 times since then. During the actual transfer I will be given a catheter because running to the bathroom isn't allowed for 20 minutes and trust me if you have ever had to balloon your bladder every second it very measurable.
Okay well that's it for today, sorry it was so long. It will be about a week until a new post, nothing exciting in the world of my fertillity this week. Lots of love, Suzi
Today was very different.
My day began around 4am when I woke up with hot flashes, ugh. I had actually left our bedroom around midnight because I was hot and "ruching" around in bed so much that I was keeping Nat awake. I trudged down to the basement where it was a bit cooler and plopped down on the couch and watched all of the hurricane news I could handle. I think it was somewhere around 1am when I finally fell asleep; I was so tired that I didn't even turn off the TV. The next thing I remember is waking up, sweating, with two blankets on top of me, looking at the clock and seeing 4:14am and cursing a little under my breath. Stupid hot flashes!! The Lupron is finally rearing its ugly head, dang it. So I started watching CNN again, checking out the hurricane and waiting until 5am to go upstairs and complain to Nat.
5am finally came and I went upstairs to meet Nat and it seems as though he was having issues with being awake that early as well. With no real time to comiserate with each other, I layed back in bed and stared at the walls while he got ready for his day.
The real excitement for the day didn't begin until about 5:30am, when Nat left. I had my trial transfer scheduled for 7:30am. The trial transfer is exactly what it sounds like, they like to measure the path to your uterus before the actual transfer just to make sure they get it right when it's "go time"and there are no surprises. What those surprises could be, I don't know, but that's what they told me, I guess I should have asked. The trick to the transfer is that you must have a full bladder, which means mass consumption of liquids very early in the morning.
The nurse told me that I should be finished drinking 48 oz. of water one hour before my appointment. As soon as Nat left for work I started drinking and by 6:30am I had finished my last drop of water and decided to get ready for my appointment. Now see if you can spot the huge error in my judgement...
I decided to take a bath and read the newspaper to kill some time and take my mind off of the ever growing pressure in my bladder. I was fine for about 15 minutes when it became apparent to me that sitting in warm water was really not helping my cause, on top of that I was reading about a hurricane and I had CNN on in the background discribing the huge "deludge" about to hit New Orleans. I was in trouble. In fact I distinctly remember looking at the clock at 6:45am and thinking to myself that there was no way I could make it another hour without causing myslef major, major pain. So I did what any woman does when she's desperate,
I cheated!!!
I had to go so badly and seriously there was no way, no way, I was going to make it. At 6:58am, 32 minutes before I was supposed to have a full bladder, I broke down and went to the bathroom. I'm such a wuss. As soon as I walked out of the bathroom I put my game face back on and began chugging water like it was free beer at a frat house. Somehow my body had to absorb 48 oz. of water within the next half an hour. I was drinking water so fast that I actually got a stomach ache and for a brief moment thought I was going to throw up. But somehow I did it!! I got to the doctors office and they did a quick ultrasound to check my bladder and she said that it looked good and full and we were ready to go. Yay for cheating!
The whole procedure took about 5 minutes and I have gone to the bathroom about 5 times since then. During the actual transfer I will be given a catheter because running to the bathroom isn't allowed for 20 minutes and trust me if you have ever had to balloon your bladder every second it very measurable.
Okay well that's it for today, sorry it was so long. It will be about a week until a new post, nothing exciting in the world of my fertillity this week. Lots of love, Suzi
Saturday, August 27, 2005
One shot two puncture wounds....
Now that our vacation is over the seriousness of the next few weeks, and hopefully months, are setting in. We had a great time in Myrtle Beach, the weather didn't exactly play nice, but we still had a relaxing time. The picture above is from a "cruise" that we took on a boat called the Sea Screamer. Obviously with that name you can tell it wasn't a fancy boat trip, it was more of a get completely soaked and look for flipper out in the ocean kind of operation. As you might also be able to tell is that Nat and I are seated in the first seat in the front of the boat, we got completely and utterly SOAKED! I loved it, Nat got a little sea sick. To be fair the water was so choppy that we didn't even stay out in the ocean for more than 15 minutes. (Boo) We ended up doing a tour of the intercoastal waterway which has a no wake zone so we couldn't speed, but we did see a bunch of dolphins so I guess we got our monies worth. We decided to come home yesterday, Friday, instead of today so we could have one more day of relaxation before Nat went back to work. Also, I started my injections of Lupron yesterday and since I had no idea how I would react to it I thought it might be best to come home. The funny story about the injection was that I had to do it around 6pm and since Nat and I were driving that meant that we would have to pull over wherever we were. It ended up working out that we ran out of gas right before 6pm, right outside of Richmond. So we pulled into a gas station, Nat pumped gas and I gave myself my first Lupron shot!!!
Well at least that's what I thought.
We got back on the highway heading north on 95 when it occured to me that there was no "sting" with the shot. Normally you can feel the medication going in to your body and I couldn't. So I pulled out my little vial of Lupron and looked at it a bit more closely and realized that it is only filled halfway with the liquid. Lo and behold when you stick the needle in it doesn't even reach the liquid, so my first shot of Lupron turned out to be a 10mL shot of air! Nat then pointed out that I was supposed to invert the vial and draw the Lupron out upsidedown so I could read the measurement on the syringe, information that would have been useful about 15 minutes ago! So right there in the middle of Richmond rush hour traffic I offically gave myself the 1st shot of Lupron and right on cue it began to sting.
The moral of this story is to pay attention during the injection classes, I thought I was and shockingly Nat did! It's funny how most of the women I know, including myself, always complain that our husbands, fathers, male friends don't ever listen to us, maybe the key is always have a sharp object in your hand while talking, hummm.......
Well I have my "trial transfer" on monday so I'll write more then. Have a good weekend!
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
A Little Miracle
Yesterday afternoon Makenzie Leigh Perks was born weighing in at 8lbs. 3 oz. and 19.25 inches long. Congrats Michelle and Brandon, I hope your baby magic rubs off on me!!
A New Test
Well this morning I had a procedure called a sonohysterogram, or SHG. It wasn't too bad, just a little uncomfortable. The test is done to make sure my uterus is in working order and lucky me mine is! The uncomfortable part comes from the catheter that is inserted into the uterus and the saline/dye solution they pump in, ugh. At least they have a monitor on the ceiling so I could watch the whole thing via internal ultrasound, now if I could only understand what I was looking at?! Seriously, I have been looking at my own ultrasounds for about 8 months now and I still nod like an idiot when they point things out. But, like I said everything looked great and they are finally going on the record and saying that I have polycystic ovarian syndrome. You have no idea how many doctors I have hounded about having PCOS, I feel like I am the walking poster child for the symptoms. I only ever had one test done, an exciting test where I had to collect my urine in a jug for 24 hours, and when that test came out negative the whole notion of me having this was thrown out the window. Dr. Filer, my IVF doctor, told me today that there is no definitive test for diagnosing PCOS but by looking at my ovaries he said that he was sure I have it. Really this changes nothing except for the way they administer my medications, I think it's easier to hyperstimulate the ovaries on these crazy medications when you have PCOS. Well that's it for today; oh, I have to take Doxycycline for two days to make sure I don't get an infection and because of this wonderful medication I can't go out in the sun, BOO!! Time to lay down and rest... Later...
Friday, August 12, 2005
The Joy of Shots
Today was our injections class and everything went very smoothly, except for one pale husband. The reason it went smoothly was the fact Nat didn't have to give me a "practice" shot like we both thought he would but a certain stress ball didn't get away so lucky. Our nurse, Sue, showed us how to use the medications, where to administer the shots, and in one case how to mix the shot. All but one of the shots I will do myself in my hip area or within one inch on either side of my belly button. They are little tiny needles that I have used before and I swear they don't hurt at all. Now the last shot, the progesterone oil, Nat will have to give me. At fisrt we thought it was in the fat part of your butt, which I was a little excited about because I figured I had a lot of fat there and it might not hurt as badly. Well we learned that the shot is actually given in your flanks, above your butt and to the side. Now don't get me wrong there is still a good amount of fat there but that's where your pants sit and I feel like the needle is going to poke my hip bone. I know i'm being irrational about that but, if you think I'm nervous about taking the shot you should have seen Nat giving the practice shot to the stress ball. First nurse Sue told Nat that when he has the neddle totally in he has to pull the plunger out just a bit to make sure there isn't any blood coming out, that would mean he hit a vessel. (1st freak out) Then because the shot is an oil it's super thick and it takes a good bit of pressure and time to get it out of the syringe, and I mean a lot of pressure. (2nd freak out) Then we learned that if I am indead pregnant and the end of this cycle Nat will have to do this for 8-10 weeks. (3rd Freak out) Needless to say that we are going to take nurse Sue up on her offer to help Nat the first few times by drawing a bullseye on the area and then helping Nat actually give me the shot. I guess every girl dreams of having a bullseye drawn on their fat parts but usually there is liposuction following that! So anyhow that was our morning. After the injections class we signed all of the papers and paid for our 1st IVF treatment. Now I feel like the ball is really rolling. Next up, the SHG on the 17th. More then.......
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Friday Part 2
Now that I have full blood flow I think I can finish my previous post, let's hope. The doctor gave me a schedule for the next month which like I said before looked daunting but now I think it is pretty tame. Today I get my shipment of drugs. I don't know when they are coming so I am just going to hang out here and do busy work until they arrive. From what the people at I-Core told me, they are my drug suppliers, I will be receiving a myriad of drugs. First I'll start with the Lupron, that begins on the 26th of this month. If I'm not mistaken I will be giving myself that shot for 14 days. I am also being sent needles, progesterone oil, follistim, and dyoxycycline. The follistim will be started sometime in the beginning of September when my bloodwork and ultrasounds say I can start, I'm pretty sure this is the medication that makes the follicles grow, hence the name?! The progesterone oil is a intramuscular shot that will have to be administered by my husband after the transfer, which is why this Friday we are attending an injection class. We also sign the contract on Friday and finally get to meet the actual doctor who will be performing the transfer. More on Friday after our class and meeting!
Friday, August 05, 2005
Blood Letting
Well today I went back to see our IVF P.A. to make a schedule for the next month. At first it seemed like a lot to do and a lot to remember, but now that I look at it again it's really not that bad.
Our appointment was at 7:30am, a bit on the early side for me, but convenient for my DH so we had a early start. I followed this appoinment with a dentist appointment, great chompers, then for my infectious diseases test. Ugh. They test you for EVERYTHING!! I had 10 vials of blood taken and they didn't even ask me to hang around to make sure I didn't pass out. Nat and I both have to get tests for HIV, hepatitis B&C and RPR (I don't know what that is?). Plus I had to get TSH, Rubella, Rubeola, and others that I now forget. I think I lost too much blood to function correctly. In fact, I'm going to lie down for a bit, more later.....
Our appointment was at 7:30am, a bit on the early side for me, but convenient for my DH so we had a early start. I followed this appoinment with a dentist appointment, great chompers, then for my infectious diseases test. Ugh. They test you for EVERYTHING!! I had 10 vials of blood taken and they didn't even ask me to hang around to make sure I didn't pass out. Nat and I both have to get tests for HIV, hepatitis B&C and RPR (I don't know what that is?). Plus I had to get TSH, Rubella, Rubeola, and others that I now forget. I think I lost too much blood to function correctly. In fact, I'm going to lie down for a bit, more later.....
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
My Story
The beginning.....
Well here goes nothing! My name is Suzi, I am 29 and have been married for a little over 4 years. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for about 2 years now with absolutely no luck. We, or more precisely, I have been poked, prodded and tested. Basically if there is a test I have taken it!
Beginning in October of 2004 we sought out professional help in the form of a reproductive endocynologist, try spelling that without a dictionary. We ended up at Johns Hopkins Greenspring Station, near Baltimore. After bloodwork, a uterine biopsy and an HSG the diagnosis was considered "unknown" and I began taking 50 mg of Clomid.
The first month on Clomid I produced three follicles that did result in a chemical pregnancy, the sperm got there but the fertilized egg didn't stick. That was basically the highlight of the infertility treatment. My husband and I wrongly assumed that the chemical pregnancy was a fluke and that the next month would be "our month". The next two months I only produced one follicle and no such luck with sperm and egg being friends.
After 3 months of failed Clomid trials the doctors decided I should add an IUI to the repitior. Again I took the Clomid, produced one good egg, ovulated on my own and had the IUI. Same thing the following month. The third month doing the IUI I didn't ovulate on my own and was given a trigger shot, HCG, to make me ovulate. The IUI was done and surprise, surprise, no pregnancy.
Our doctors wanted us to continue with the same routine, but we were getting really tired of being disappointed and I felt that some changeup in the protocol was needed. So we made an appointment with a new doctor.
Well wouldn't you know that within the first 10 minutes of meeting with the new doctor it was discovered, or re-discovered, that my husbands sperm motility was less than 1%, normal is above 14%. What this means is that 1 out of 100 of my husbands sperm was shaped correctly. This was a huge blow to learn that after all of this time and energy we had placed in to getting pregnant the chances of us concieving on our own were extremely low. The worst part was knowing these results from a semen analysis were available before we began our fertility treatment.
So now we are awaiting our first round of IVF. I am currently on birth control pills and this friday I meet with the new doctor to get my schedule. I know the IVF will be the third week of september but as far as what drugs I'm taking and when, I still don't know.
That's the current situation. I'm hopeful that IVF will be our magic bullet.
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